Udhaya's Lyrics

i used to feel like an angel held high in daddy's arms i do recall i had it all summer picnics by the lake   vacation trips, amusement parks,   picture perfect moments that high   had to crumble,  had to fall   sifting through emotions for   when momma went AWOL justify your reason for bearing me at all lest you know the secret that dragged me on this far won't you notice just this once? are we through getting through? can't be your suffering child no more here's my wakeup call can't reach the threshold without a gauge can't force reactions to pour my rage you keep searching happiness in strangers' company you're an absentee landlord you don't bother making housecalls keep speeding up my growth I swear I don't feel like a teen I'm wiser than you think I show if we have a talk you'll surely know you're happy with my anecdotes you ask me to be brief I fill a book in silence for every page I speak what...

Working late was how it started Leaving early, staying late Out with friends you said I believe Working out or helping neighbors You played me like a stratacaster Save the music I heard enough Wrapped every sign of misbehaving With a warm and fuzzy, feel-good tale Had no clue I was whipped and dreaming Walking blind with a candy cane Then I caught the downward spiral roller coaster crashing down You played me like a stratacaster Save the music I heard enough Hit and run without a clue You left me bleeding Now we're through two-faced schemer with one more lie looking for another try see my finger take a peek I'm not your Jesus I'm out of cheeks You played me like a stratacaster Save the music I heard enough

river keeps the old course never showing true woes undercurrents don't rise up (a)'nother longing stare face do you believe my lies? harder yet the truth dies again so tell me how... how can it be? you let me be the lie that I sold on you unwilling river keeps the old course never showing true woes undercurrents don't rise up flickering in pitiful shadows snickering in self-illusion tricked up on guilt and torment listen baby... let's hurry to where they don't care what you and I share, where there's room for private scrutiny end this hide and seek that I sold on you unwilling river keeps the old course never showing true woes undercurrents don't rise up

God, Country, or Family? choose one out of three put your gun where you mouth is now what will it be? war is upon us using either or all three with just one God for all who pray does he ever hear what our enemies say? does he split our loyalties on fair market value for skin, religion, culture, what have you? or turn a deaf ear to the enemy's prayer? with country i don't get to reason why i'm only asked to do or die go police the world for democracy says a bundle of lies and hypocrisy i do unto others as they do unto me is it really God's country striking preemptively? aren't God and country to protect me? with family it's not a choice really what good is victory if i can't share with kin? what good is freedom when i'm left free with no one? i'll die for my country for true sanctity not to run the universe or an SUV dissent and discourse are part of the carnage one of the many in collateral damage with hundreds comin...

every year I blew the candles not one of my wishes came true wishing well can exchange for dollars all the pennies that I threw looks like one made it somehow that's the reason I met you wearing clothes from yesterday 'cos they smell like your car same place my mind goes since our impromptu rendezvous impromptu rendezvous everything on such a cue couldn't plan it if we tried every time I tried in vain my pain just multiplied impromptu rendezvous impromptu rendezvous can't hold a straight thought can't let a stray one pass chalk up all your days off keep 'em open I will too, yeah maybe we can revisit but I hate to be jinxing it impromptu rendezvous impromptu rendezvous destiny, not cruise control from now on it's all chance what a mess I make planning let it just be happenstance impromptu rendezvous impromptu rendezvous

You’ve forgotten more than I’ll ever learn teaching and researching like there’s no return You’re gifted in ways I can’t fit in a book When it’s all said and done as they burn out your wick Your legend will be tall but you came up short You maybe a teacher but you had no class Your life with me gets a failing grade When they recall your glory around this campus to size up your proud legacy, your status will grow far and thick I'll still say the same thing with nothing to risk Your legend will be tall but you came up short You maybe a teacher but you had no class Your life with me gets a failing grade You focused on one thing work got your best I settled the rest for you Like a good pet No thank you, no nod for what I went through you took my service like you're entitled to no, I’m not saying, “I’m the best that you had” but you are the worst that I’ve ever seen so let them enshrine you spit shoe-shine you hang you on their academic wall I...

i don't much care for a home by the sea no cathedral ceiling or marble floor 4 car garages olympic size pools lame entourages sports cars and whores who needs a roof? there's a moon over me don't mistake me for a ladder to climb you won't go far but, i won't bring you down livin life large without credit charge my view is free there's a moon over me so pull up a lawnchair crack open some beers i got them on wholesale it all comes out the same look at the sky, not the smog underneath got no wishing stars there's a moon over me

knee deep in rubble dirt it's getting deeper yet pride's been gone some time couldn't tell you if it knows my name when i say there's no way this too shall pass they say no time for curtain calls brave flag on a broken mast pinching numbness with pints of booze i hear the mariachi sing my blues don't catch it note for note don't speak a word he sings but when it comes to pain and truth they nail it just the same they nail it in the tongue of Spain where can i runaway to find yesterday where they have memories of future things where do they make tears and mourning turn so sweet they nail it everytime they nail it in the tongue of Spain

you're like a big fat pole going through me, i'm the floor who's the mouse now? who's the cheese? i'm sick of this trap door let up and get some air you call this civilized? you're the golden retriever sniffing every stench from the past i'm through now had my fill you're such a bad buzz kill you're such a bad buzz kill long day at work okay? get a clue when you see me late do i look like i've had some fun must be nice when your bills are paid don't start your filthy mouth i'm through now had my fill you're such a bad buzz kill you're such a bad buzz kill

tell me what you couldn't say  things you wish they knew about you tell me all your pet peeves they couldn't stop repeating destiny does like to help but now and then you step it up don't keep me guessing open up 'cos I take pains to remember you can snap me your lunch menu or rant about your lame-ass boss endless emojis  will hit you  along with my warmest thoughts the world is not against you they just don't catch you in my view destiny does like to help but now and then you step it up don't keep me guessing open up 'cos I take pains to remember tell me  all those spots  that turn you on that other guys had never learned and all the things you dream about in mister right but never said don't keep me guessing open up 'cos I take pains to remember Don't need to be your fancy dream  i can smooth over reality whenever you're roughing it when you  reach over  half asleep mumbling regrets that wont quit dig...

i hereby declare i'm watching your ways i'm a trouble magnet can't let you be God of arrogance you are you've no apology i can't help it it's my pathology why am i always acting masochistically? friends tell me i need some TLC nice is no turn off i solemnly swear i just fall for the call of the wild battered and bruised my heart's a hockey puck this disaster zone's in need of lady luck no, come on, i'm not a pacifist gotta believe i'm truly dealing with it your bubble of smugness' just baiting me baby i can't help it it's my pathology

merchandise of love sets me up to fall saw the signs approaching through ads and sales calls candy like a heart, chocolate rose in bloom sordid lingerie or charge that jewelry? it's the gift that matters thoughts are just plain cheap i’m a lapsed romantic with no tokens of love can’t you tell my feelings without wrappers and bows? i’m a lapsed romantic without a shopping list i’m retail challenged you better forget it indebted feelings must be shown bearing gifts didn’t learn my lesson life’s schooling me in this the happily marrieds always tell it like it is a rate for every offense empty hands though out of the question i’m a lapsed romantic in the church of love the place i’m headed has no hail mary cure i’m a lapsed romantic guilty as charged criminal negligence when it comes to buying gifts

every man of substance works for his right to be it’s a planet of resistance that puts him down eventually with individuality or activists with vision we can stick it to them but unless these things were hip though people won’t flock to ‘em where the system is the truth rising up is hard to do where submission is virtue rising up is hard to do hard to make the pain go when you’re God is status quo where the system is the truth rising up is hard to do we can take it to the streets but who’ll cover the parade? we can brandish effigies and burn who’ll report our courage? some low-funded magazine with absent circulation? or a foreigner’s blog with tainted condemnation? doing the deed is one thing making it matter another they invented this ballgame let’s change the score however where the system is the truth rising up is hard to do where submission is virtue rising up is hard to do strength is not in ...

why am i shy to own it this thing is sensual sickness it is i know it but not unusual it leaves me crying naked guilt leaves residuals i've tried so hard to hide it hammered a hundred nails can't seem to keep it lidded it's ineffectual don't tell me i can't break it you should see me in control this fix just needs another put your remorse on hold let's ride this tide together fate's gonna mess it up soon i've tried so hard to hide it hammered a hundred nails can't seem to keep it lidded it's ineffectual

Hell is not the cold shoulder or your unanswered queries Hell is not the hung up calls or hopes kicked down the years Hell is not the hurt you feel or the waking nights or tears Hell is having your truth become lies in her ears Hell is not the last train home with no one there to cheer Hell is not the other guy reaping all your dears Hell is not the curtain call you waited to hear Hell is having your truth become lies in her ears Hell is not the song and dance you perform to be here Hell is not the cheap sermon you endured from your peers Hell is having your turn around not even dent her fears Hell is having your truth become lies in her ears

i've cried enough for a king's ransom if every tear was a drop of gold the way you bite your tongue after every little prank the way your nostrils flare when you're stark raving mad all of it comes flooding and hits me unannounced your every minute gesture grows a millionfold your halo haunts me like a stranglehold moving on is for those that believe better is somehow yet to come i've had it good better than many and suffered worse than has been told the way you take your lumps with tough resolve and bounce the way you swoon and writhe with aching loveliness all of it comes flooding and hits me unannounced your every minute gesture grows a millionfold your halo haunts me like a stranglehold i see no reason why it gets better up ahead this promise of new when all i've known and ever felt tells me what you ought to know you couldn't play i couldn't fold your halo haunts me like a stranglehold 

i packed up like a minimalist neat freak taking only what i need see monuments and mementos are trophies for the weak i burned your pink-ribboned letters in a blazing effigy screw the landmarks grass must be growing on my tire marks i'm so far gone there's no more rearview forget you! forget you! forget you! 'cos i don't ever swing in the hammock of has been 'cos i don't ever swing in the hammock of has been but there are moments... like the scent of jasmine from a passerby slushing cocktail in a salt-rimmed glass when a girl at the movies screams all scared you crawl back on recall wreaking havoc only you can... forget you! forget you! forget you! i just reel it back and keep it low watch the sting evaporate taking stock of the damage let it percolate healing means sorrow, hell no, just peel the bandage forget you! forget you! forget you! 'cos i don't ever swing in the hammock of has been 'cos i don't ...