Udhaya's Lyrics

# 15 Hell is

2011-06-15T11:12:00.000-07:00

Hell is not the cold shoulder
or your unanswered queries
Hell is not the hung up calls
or hopes kicked down the years

Hell is not the hurt you feel
or the waking nights
or tears

Hell is having your truth become
lies in her ears

Hell is not the last train home
with no one there to cheer
Hell is not the other guy
reaping all your dears

Hell is not the curtain call
you waited
to hear

Hell is having your truth become
lies in her ears

Hell is not the song and dance
you perform to be here
Hell is not the cheap sermon
you endured from your peers

Hell is having your turn around
not even dent
her fears

Hell is having your truth become
lies in her ears

14 ineffectual

2008-02-15T00:15:00.000-08:00

why am i shy to own it
this thing is sensual
sickness it is i know it
but not unusual
it leaves me crying naked
guilt leaves residuals

i've tried so hard to hide it
hammered a hundred nails
can't seem to keep it lidded
it's ineffectual

don't tell me i can't break it
you should see me in control
this fix just needs another
put your remorse on hold
let's ride this tide together
fate's gonna mess it up soon

i've tried so hard to hide it
hammered a hundred nails
can't seem to keep it lidded
it's ineffectual

# 13 rising up

2007-04-24T16:02:00.000-07:00

every man of substance

works for his right to be

it’s a planet of resistance

that puts him down eventually

with individuality

or activists with vision

we can stick it to them

but unless these things were hip though

people won’t flock to ‘em

where the system is the truth

rising up is hard to do

where submission is virtue

rising up is hard to do

hard to make the pain go

when you’re God is status quo

where the system is the truth

rising up is hard to do

we can take it to the streets

but who’ll cover the parade?

we can brandish effigies and burn

who’ll report our courage?

some low-funded magazine

with absent circulation?

or a foreigner’s blog

with tainted condemnation?

doing the deed is one thing

making it matter another

they invented this ballgame

let’s change the score however

where the system is the truth

rising up is hard to do

where submission is virtue

rising up is hard to do

strength is not in numbers alone

truth is not a figurehead

let truth rage every corner

your art can splash the message

# 12 lapsed romantic

2007-03-22T01:38:00.000-07:00

merchandise of love

sets me up to fall

saw the signs approaching

through ads and sales calls

candy like a heart, chocolate rose in bloom

sordid lingerie or charge that jewelry?

it's the gift that matters

thoughts are just plain cheap

i’m a lapsed romantic

with no tokens of love

can’t you tell my feelings

without wrappers and bows?

i’m a lapsed romantic

without a shopping list

i’m retail challenged

you better forget it

indebted feelings

must be shown bearing gifts

didn’t learn my lesson

life’s schooling me in this

the happily marrieds

always tell it like it is

a rate for every offense

empty hands though

out of the question

i’m a lapsed romantic

in the church of love

the place i’m headed

has no hail mary cure

i’m a lapsed romantic

guilty as charged

criminal negligence

when it comes to buying gifts

# 11 it's my pathology

2007-03-05T01:22:00.000-08:00

i hereby declare
i'm watching your ways
i'm a trouble magnet
can't let you be

God of arrogance you are
you've no apology
i can't help it
it's my pathology

why am i always
acting masochistically?
friends tell me
i need some TLC
nice is no turn off
i solemnly swear
i just fall
for the call of the wild

battered and bruised
my heart's a hockey puck
this disaster zone's
in need of lady luck
no, come on,
i'm not a pacifist
gotta believe
i'm truly dealing with it

your bubble of smugness'
just baiting me baby
i can't help it
it's my pathology

# 10 i can keep a secret

2006-06-02T13:47:00.000-07:00

tell me what you like to do
when the sky is midnight blue
tell me what you wear to bed
your favorite side to sleep on
and all those spots that turn you on
that other guys had never learned

and all the things you dream about
in mister right but never said
tell me now or hold your peace
'cos I can keep a secret
try me now, just tell me one
I can keep a secret

dish me all your inner thoughts
walk me through your mindscape
dating scene is hard enough
don't keep me guessing open up

destiny does like to help
but now and then
you step it up
so tell me how you picture us
your guilty pleasures, every one!

and all the things you dream about
in mister right but never said
tell me now or hold your peace
'cos I can keep a secret
try me now, just tell me one
I can keep a secret

# 9 buzz kill

2006-05-09T01:30:00.000-07:00

you're like a big fat pole
going through me, i'm the floor
who's the mouse now?
who's the cheese?
i'm sick of this trap door

let up and get some air
you call this civilized?
you're the golden retriever
sniffing every stench from the past
i'm through now had my fill
you're such a bad buzz kill
you're such a bad buzz kill

long day at work okay?
get a clue when you see me late
do i look like i've had some fun
must be nice when your bills are paid
don't start your filthy mouth
i'm through now had my fill
you're such a bad buzz kill
you're such a bad buzz kill

# 8 tongue of Spain

2006-05-04T17:00:00.000-07:00

knee deep in rubble dirt
it's getting deeper yet
pride's been gone some time
couldn't tell you if it knows my name

when i say there's no way
this too shall pass they say
no time for curtain calls
brave flag on a broken mast

pinching numbness with pints of booze
i hear the mariachi sing my blues
don't catch it note for note
don't speak a word he sings
but when it comes to pain and truth
they nail it just the same
they nail it in the tongue of Spain

where can i runaway
to find yesterday
where they have memories
of future things
where do they make tears
and mourning turn so sweet
they nail it everytime
they nail it in the tongue of Spain

# 7 there's a moon over me

2006-05-04T00:20:00.000-07:00

i don't much care for
a home by the sea
no cathedral ceiling or marble floor
4 car garages
olympic size pools
lame entourages
sports cars and whores

i just want my life to let me be
feeling content
there's a moon over me

don't mistake me for
a ladder to climb
you won't go far
but, i won't bring you down
livin life large
without credit charge
that's my motto it gets me by

i just want my life to let me be
feeling content
there's a moon over me

so pull up a lawnchair
crack open some beers
i got them on wholesale
it all comes out the same
look at the sky,
well, the smog's got that covered
got no wishing stars
there's a moon over me

# 6 failing grade

2006-04-19T15:33:00.000-07:00

You’ve forgotten more than I’ll ever learn
teaching and researching like there’s no return
You’re gifted in ways I can’t fit in a book
When it’s all said and done
as they burn out your wick

Your legend will be tall
but you came up short
You maybe a teacher
but you had no class
Your life with me
gets a failing grade

When they recall your glory
around this campus
to size up your proud legacy,
your status will grow far and thick
I'll still say the same thing
with nothing to risk

Your legend will be tall
but you came up short
You maybe a teacher
but you had no class
Your life with me
gets a failing grade

You focused on one thing
work got your best
I settled the rest for you
Like a good pet
No thank you, no nod
for what I went through
you took my service like you're entitled to

no, I’m not saying, “I’m the best that you had”
but you are the worst that I’ve ever seen
so let them enshrine you
spit shoe-shine you
hang you on their academic wall
I'll tell the truth to one and all

Your legend will be tall
but you came up short
You maybe a teacher
but you got no class
Your life with me
gets a failing grade

# 5 impromptu rendezvous

2006-04-05T00:50:00.000-07:00

one thousand wishes sail on
with the kisses that I blew
wishing well can change your dollars
with the pennies that I threw
looks like one made it somehow
that's the reason I met you

wearing clothes from yesterday
'cos they smell like your car
same place my mind goes since our

impromptu rendezvous
impromptu rendezvous

couldn't plan it if we tried
everything on such a cue

impromptu rendezvous
impromptu rendezvous

can't hold a straight thought
can't let a stray one pass
chalk up your days off
keep 'em open
I will too
maybe it will revisit
not that I'm planning it

impromptu rendezvous
impromptu rendezvous

from now on it's all chance
destiny on cruise control
know the mess I make planning
let it happen out of the blue

impromptu rendezvous
impromptu rendezvous

# 4 God, Country, Family?

2006-02-10T17:03:00.000-08:00

God, Country, or Family?
choose one out of three
put your gun where you mouth is
now what will it be?
war is upon us
using either or all three

with just one God
for all who pray
does he ever hear
what our enemies say?
does he split our loyalties
on fair market value
for skin, religion, culture, what have you?
or turn a deaf ear
to the enemy's prayer?

with country i don't get to reason why
i'm only asked to do or die
go police the world for democracy
says a bundle of lies and hypocrisy
i do unto others as they do unto me
is it really God's country
striking preemptively?

aren't God and country to protect me?
with family it's not a choice really
what good is victory if i can't share with kin?
what good is freedom when i'm left free with no one?
i'll die for my country for true sanctity
not to run the universe or an SUV

dissent and discourse are part of the carnage
one of the many in collateral damage
with hundreds coming home in body bags
can't sweep it all under the glorious flag

red is for the blood that's shed
white is for the lies i dread
blue is for the way i feel
when will it end?
how do i heal?

# 3 unwilling

2006-02-08T21:43:00.000-08:00

river keeps the old course
never showing true woes
undercurrents don't rise up

(a)'nother longing stare face
do you believe my lies?
harder yet the truth dies again

so tell me how...
how can it be?
you let me be
the lie
that I sold on you
unwilling

river keeps the old course
never showing true woes
undercurrents don't rise up
flickering in pitiful shadows
snickering in self-illusion
tricked up on guilt and torment listen
baby...

let's hurry to where they
don't care what you and I share, where
there's room for private scrutiny
end this hide and seek
that I sold on you
unwilling

river keeps the old course
never showing true woes
undercurrents don't rise up

# 2 stratacaster

2006-02-08T21:36:00.000-08:00

Working late was how it started
Leaving early, staying late
Out with friends you said
I believe
Working out or helping neighbors

You played me like a stratacaster
Save the music
I heard enough

Wrapped every sign of misbehaving
With a warm and fuzzy, feel-good tale
Had no clue
I was whipped and dreaming
Walking blind with a candy cane
Then I caught the downward spiral
roller coaster crashing down

You played me like a stratacaster
Save the music
I heard enough

Hit and run without a clue
You left me bleeding
Now we're through
two-faced schemer
with one more lie
looking for another try

see my finger
take a peek
I'm not your Jesus
I'm out of cheeks

You played me like a stratacaster
Save the music
I heard enough

# 1 Daddy's Girl

2006-02-08T21:21:00.000-08:00

i used to feel like an angel
held high in daddy's arms
i do recall i had it all
summer picnics by the lake
vacation trips, amusement parks,
picture perfect moments that high
had to crumble, had to fall
sifting through emotions for
when momma went AWOL

justify your reason
for bearing me at all
lest you know the secret
that dragged me on this far
won't you notice just this once?
are we through getting through?
can't be your suffering child no more
here's my wakeup call

can't reach the threshold
without a gauge
can't force reactions
to pour my rage

you keep searching happiness
in strangers' company
you're an absentee landlord
you don't bother making housecalls
keep speeding up my growth
I swear I don't feel like a teen
I'm wiser than you think I show
if we have a talk you'll surely know

you're happy with my anecdotes
you ask me to be brief
I fill a book in silence
for every page I speak

what's left in life for you to teach?
when a lesser me is more than you bother to reach?
you got no care for you or me
aren't you sick of being my enemy?
can't be your suffering child no more
here's my wakeup call