# 1 Daddy's Girl

i used to feel like an angel held high in daddy's arms i do recall i had it all summer picnics by the lake vacation trips, amusement parks, picture perfect moments that high had to crumble, had to fall sifting through emotions for when momma went AWOL justify your reason for bearing me at all lest you know the secret that dragged me on this far won't you notice just this once? are we through getting through? can't be your suffering child no more here's my wakeup call can't reach the threshold without a gauge can't force reactions to pour my rage you keep searching happiness in strangers' company you're an absentee landlord you don't bother making housecalls keep speeding up my growth I swear I don't feel like a teen I'm wiser than you think I show if we have a talk you'll surely know you're happy with my anecdotes you ask me to be brief I fill a book in silence for every page I speak what's left in life for you to teach? when a lesser me is more than you bother to reach? you got no care for you or me aren't you sick of being my enemy? can't be your suffering child no more here's my wakeup call

# 2 stratacaster

Working late was how it started Leaving early, staying late Out with friends you said I believe Working out or helping neighbors

You played me like a stratacaster Save the music I heard enough

Wrapped every sign of misbehaving With a warm and fuzzy, feel-good tale Had no clue I was whipped and dreaming Walking blind with a candy cane Then I caught the downward spiral roller coaster crashing down

You played me like a stratacaster Save the music I heard enough

Hit and run without a clue You left me bleeding Now we're through two-faced schemer with one more lie looking for another try

see my finger take a peek I'm not your Jesus I'm out of cheeks

You played me like a stratacaster Save the music I heard enough

# 3 unwilling

river keeps the old course never showing true woes undercurrents don't rise up (a)'nother longing stare face do you believe my lies? harder yet the truth dies again so tell me how... how can it be? you let me be the lie that I sold on you unwilling river keeps the old course never showing true woes undercurrents don't rise up flickering in pitiful shadows snickering in self-illusion tricked up on guilt and torment listen baby... let's hurry to where they don't care what you and I share, where there's room for private scrutiny end this hide and seek that I sold on you unwilling river keeps the old course never showing true woes undercurrents don't rise up

# 4 God, Country, Family?

God, Country, or Family? choose one out of three put your gun where you mouth is now what will it be? war is upon us using either or all three with just one God for all who pray does he ever hear what our enemies say? does he split our loyalties on fair market value for skin, religion, culture, what have you? or turn a deaf ear to the enemy's prayer? with country i don't get to reason why i'm only asked to do or die go police the world for democracy says a bundle of lies and hypocrisy i do unto others as they do unto me is it really God's country striking preemptively? aren't God and country to protect me? with family it's not a choice really what good is victory if i can't share with kin? what good is freedom when i'm left free with no one? i'll die for my country for true sanctity not to run the universe or an SUV dissent and discourse are part of the carnage one of the many in collateral damage with hundreds coming home in body bags can't sweep it all under the glorious flag red is for the blood that's shed white is for the lies i dread blue is for the way i feel when will it end? how do i heal?

# 5 impromptu rendezvous

every year I blew the candles
not one of my wishes came true
wishing well can exchange for dollars
all the pennies that I threw
looks like one made it somehow
that's the reason I met you

wearing clothes from yesterday
'cos they smell like your car
same place my mind goes since our

impromptu rendezvous
impromptu rendezvous

everything on such a cue
couldn't plan it if we tried
every time I tried in vain
my pain just multiplied

impromptu rendezvous
impromptu rendezvous

can't hold a straight thought
can't let a stray one pass
chalk up all your days off
keep 'em open
I will too, yeah
maybe we can revisit
but I hate to be jinxing it

impromptu rendezvous
impromptu rendezvous

destiny, not cruise control
from now on it's all chance
what a mess I make planning
let it just be happenstance

impromptu rendezvous
impromptu rendezvous

# 6 failing grade

You’ve forgotten more than I’ll ever learn teaching and researching like there’s no return You’re gifted in ways I can’t fit in a book When it’s all said and done as they burn out your wick Your legend will be tall but you came up short You maybe a teacher but you had no class Your life with me gets a failing grade When they recall your glory around this campus to size up your proud legacy, your status will grow far and thick I'll still say the same thing with nothing to risk Your legend will be tall but you came up short You maybe a teacher but you had no class Your life with me gets a failing grade You focused on one thing work got your best I settled the rest for you Like a good pet No thank you, no nod for what I went through you took my service like you're entitled to no, I’m not saying, “I’m the best that you had” but you are the worst that I’ve ever seen so let them enshrine you spit shoe-shine you hang you on their academic wall I'll tell the truth to one and all Your legend will be tall but you came up short You maybe a teacher but you got no class Your life with me gets a failing grade

# 7 there's a moon over me

i don't much care for
a home by the sea
no cathedral ceiling or marble floor
4 car garages
olympic size pools
lame entourages
sports cars and whores

who needs a roof?
there's a moon over me

don't mistake me for
a ladder to climb
you won't go far
but, i won't bring you down
livin life large
without credit charge

my view is free
there's a moon over me

so pull up a lawnchair
crack open some beers
i got them on wholesale
it all comes out the same
look at the sky,
not the smog underneath

got no wishing stars
there's a moon over me

# 8 tongue of Spain

knee deep in rubble dirt it's getting deeper yet pride's been gone some time couldn't tell you if it knows my name when i say there's no way this too shall pass they say no time for curtain calls brave flag on a broken mast pinching numbness with pints of booze i hear the mariachi sing my blues don't catch it note for note don't speak a word he sings but when it comes to pain and truth they nail it just the same they nail it in the tongue of Spain where can i runaway to find yesterday where they have memories of future things where do they make tears and mourning turn so sweet they nail it everytime they nail it in the tongue of Spain

# 9 buzz kill

you're like a big fat pole going through me, i'm the floor who's the mouse now? who's the cheese? i'm sick of this trap door let up and get some air you call this civilized? you're the golden retriever sniffing every stench from the past i'm through now had my fill you're such a bad buzz kill you're such a bad buzz kill long day at work okay? get a clue when you see me late do i look like i've had some fun must be nice when your bills are paid don't start your filthy mouth i'm through now had my fill you're such a bad buzz kill you're such a bad buzz kill

# 10 I'll take pains to remember

tell me what you couldn't say 
things you wish they knew about you
tell me all your pet peeves
they couldn't stop repeating

destiny does like to help
but now and then
you step it up

don't keep me guessing open up
'cos I take pains to remember

you can snap me your lunch menu
or rant about your lame-ass boss
endless emojis will hit you 
along with my warmest thoughts
the world is not against you
they just don't catch you in my view

destiny does like to help
but now and then
you step it up

don't keep me guessing open up
'cos I take pains to remember

tell me all those spots 
that turn you on
that other guys had never learned
and all the things you dream about
in mister right but never said

don't keep me guessing open up
'cos I take pains to remember

Don't need to be your fancy dream 
i can smooth over reality
whenever you're roughing it
when you reach over half asleep

mumbling regrets that wont quit

digging inches with my every deed

someday this will be deep

so tell me how you picture us
your guilty pleasures, every one!
don't keep me guessing open up
'cos I take pains to remember

# 11 it's my pathology

i hereby declare i'm watching your ways i'm a trouble magnet can't let you be God of arrogance you are you've no apology i can't help it it's my pathology why am i always acting masochistically? friends tell me i need some TLC nice is no turn off i solemnly swear i just fall for the call of the wild battered and bruised my heart's a hockey puck this disaster zone's in need of lady luck no, come on, i'm not a pacifist gotta believe i'm truly dealing with it your bubble of smugness' just baiting me baby i can't help it it's my pathology

# 12 lapsed romantic

merchandise of love

sets me up to fall

saw the signs approaching

through ads and sales calls

candy like a heart, chocolate rose in bloom

sordid lingerie or charge that jewelry?

it's the gift that matters thoughts are just plain cheap

i’m a lapsed romantic

with no tokens of love

can’t you tell my feelings

without wrappers and bows?

i’m a lapsed romantic

without a shopping list

i’m retail challenged

you better forget it

indebted feelings

must be shown bearing gifts

didn’t learn my lesson

life’s schooling me in this

the happily marrieds

always tell it like it is

a rate for every offense

empty hands though

out of the question

i’m a lapsed romantic

in the church of love

the place i’m headed

has no hail mary cure

i’m a lapsed romantic

guilty as charged

criminal negligence

when it comes to buying gifts

# 13 rising up

every man of substance

works for his right to be

it’s a planet of resistance

that puts him down eventually

with individuality

or activists with vision

we can stick it to them

but unless these things were hip though

people won’t flock to ‘em

where the system is the truth

rising up is hard to do

where submission is virtue

rising up is hard to do

hard to make the pain go

when you’re God is status quo

where the system is the truth

rising up is hard to do

we can take it to the streets

but who’ll cover the parade?

we can brandish effigies and burn

who’ll report our courage?

some low-funded magazine

with absent circulation?

or a foreigner’s blog

with tainted condemnation?

doing the deed is one thing

making it matter another

they invented this ballgame

let’s change the score however

where the system is the truth

rising up is hard to do

where submission is virtue

rising up is hard to do

strength is not in numbers alone

truth is not a figurehead

let truth rage every corner

your art can splash the message

# 14 ineffectual

why am i shy to own it
this thing is sensual
sickness it is i know it
but not unusual
it leaves me crying naked
guilt leaves residuals

i've tried so hard to hide it
hammered a hundred nails
can't seem to keep it lidded
it's ineffectual

don't tell me i can't break it
you should see me in control
this fix just needs another
put your remorse on hold
let's ride this tide together
fate's gonna mess it up soon

i've tried so hard to hide it
hammered a hundred nails
can't seem to keep it lidded
it's ineffectual

# 15 Hell is

Hell is not the cold shoulder or your unanswered queries Hell is not the hung up calls or hopes kicked down the years Hell is not the hurt you feel or the waking nights or tears Hell is having your truth become lies in her ears Hell is not the last train home with no one there to cheer Hell is not the other guy reaping all your dears Hell is not the curtain call you waited to hear Hell is having your truth become lies in her ears Hell is not the song and dance you perform to be here Hell is not the cheap sermon you endured from your peers Hell is having your turn around not even dent her fears Hell is having your truth become lies in her ears

# 16 Stranglehold

i've cried enough for a king's ransom
if every tear was a drop of gold
the way you bite your tongue
after every little prank
the way your nostrils flare
when you're stark raving mad

all of it comes flooding
and hits me unannounced
your every minute gesture
grows a millionfold

your halo haunts me like a stranglehold

moving on is for those that believe
better is somehow yet to come
i've had it good
better than many and suffered worse
than has been told

the way you take your lumps
with tough resolve and bounce
the way you swoon and writhe
with aching loveliness

all of it comes flooding
and hits me unannounced
your every minute gesture
grows a millionfold

your halo haunts me like a stranglehold

i see no reason
why it gets better
up ahead
this promise of new

when all i've known and ever felt
tells me what you ought to know
you couldn't play
i couldn't fold

your halo haunts me like a stranglehold


# 17 hammock of has been

i packed up like a minimalist neat freak
taking only what i need
see monuments and mementos
are trophies for the weak

i burned your pink-ribboned letters
in a blazing effigy
screw the landmarks
grass must be growing on my tire marks

i'm so far gone
there's no more rearview
forget you! forget you! forget you!

'cos i don't ever swing
in the hammock of has been

'cos i don't ever swing
in the hammock of has been

but there are moments...
like the scent of jasmine
from a passerby
slushing cocktail in a salt-rimmed glass
when a girl at the movies screams all scared
you crawl back on recall
wreaking havoc only you can...
forget you! forget you! forget you!

i just reel it back and keep it low
watch the sting evaporate
taking stock of the damage
let it percolate
healing means sorrow, hell no,
just peel the bandage
forget you! forget you! forget you!

'cos i don't ever swing
in the hammock of has been

'cos i don't ever swing
in the hammock of has been